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Blog | Page 2 of 2 | Brian Salazar Coaching Strength

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The Greatest Project You’ll Ever Work On

Brian Salazar
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The Greatest Project You’ll Ever Work On

The greatest project that you’ll ever work on in life is, YOU. Yes, YOU.

If you’re seeking to change the people and circumstances around you, you’re wasting your time.  You must focus on the evolution of the man that is you.  

Because here’s the kicker … working on you, also changes your experience with everything around you. It’s the best 2-for-1 deal you’ll EVER have in life.

There’s no project that will give you a better return on investment.  

There’s no project that will give you better relationships, better results, more money.

There’s no project that will give you a better life.

It will change your life … BUT you have to do the work.

I personally spent most of my life working on changing everything around me to make my life better.  If I could change my wife, make more money, move to a new house, change my job, everything would be better, right?

Wrong. Once I fully committed to doing the work on me, EVERYTHING CHANGED.  Like magic. No bullshit here.  I’m personally telling you, and you can ask every single man that I’ve ever worked with.

You don’t have to wait; the only person waiting is YOU.

The problem is most people aren’t willing to put in the work. They assume it’s better to pick up a beer over a book. They assume spending more money on toys and hobbies is a better investment than spending that money on working on their own shit.

Because they’re afraid to look within.  They’re afraid to fail.  They don’t think it’s possible.  They think changing others is easier.  And the status quo is survivable … kind of.

But what they fail to understand is that making the easy and comfortable choices now, leads to misery later.

Work on You

I’m here to tell you that it’s never too late to work on you.  To develop new habits, tools, and mindset that can uncover the man that you were created to be.

The father that you were created to be…

The husband that you were created to be…

The blessing that you were created to be…

Doing the work is the difference between having a miserable, or average, life and having the life that you’ve always dreamed of.

Don’t live in regret.  Don’t settle.

Do the work…for you.

With it, comes everything that you want out of life.

Start by creating a daily practice that makes you better.  Don’t miss.

Read, learn, listen, follow, repeat.

If you aren’t sure how to get to the level that you want to get to, and you don’t know what kind of work you need to do to have your best life, do what I did, and find someone that knows what it takes.  That has the map.  That can show you the way.

And that can hold you accountable to living out your best life. Your best marriage.

You no longer have to waste your energy trying to change everything around you.  You have all that you need.  You have you.  And transforming you; transforms everything around you. 

This is what you’ve been waiting your whole life … make now the time.  Stop hearing this message and start living the message.

You’ve heard it before, because it’s true.  It’s not a secret.

Commit to playing big in life.  Go for it.  Do the work.

The only regret you’ll have is having never taken yourself on as your number one life project.

Don’t live in regret. 

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

You Can’t Win if You’re Running in the Wrong Direction

Brian Salazar
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You Can’t Win if You’re Running in the Wrong Direction

Stop Running in the Wrong Direction

The world’s fastest man is on the starting line of the 100m race … 

I want you to envision this.

He’s ready to break records and win it all.

Except… 

He’s facing the wrong direction. 

He’s not facing the same way as all of his competitors. 

And he’s so focused that nobody can tell him that he’s about to make a huge mistake…

BANG.

The gun goes off and he takes off…

Racing in the exact opposite direction…

He’s disqualified & loses immediately. 

If you’re running in the wrong direction, you’re never going to win. 

Especially in your marriage. 

If you’re all-out sprinting in the wrong direction, the only thing you’re definitely going to get is:

  • Burned out
  • Frustrated with your lack of progress
  • Confused as hell that you’ve got nothing to show for all your hard work 
  • The same life-draining results 

The truth is … just having someone to point you in the right direction is 95% of the battle sometimes. 

The rest is just getting you there faster. 

This was me. I spent years in my marriage running in the wrong direction.  It seemed that the harder I worked, the more it fell apart.

Nothing seemed to work.  Counseling, advice from friends and family, trying to please her…NOTHING. WORKED. 

What I actually learned through the process was that it isn’t that difficult if you’re heading in the right direction … if you have someone telling you where to go and the fastest way to get there.

Just like it isn’t difficult for the world’s fastest man to win a race if he’s facing the right direction. 

The mountain (your marriage) that seems impossible to climb is no more than a small hill, if you know what you’re doing. 

The men I work with make 10x progress in less than 1 week.  A little work and a little direction and they’re off!  Crushing it!

So if you want the right roadmap…

And you want to start to find a powerful path forward in your marriage .… purpose in life … or that swagger that you’re missing.

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

Everything C.A.N. B.E. Fixed

Brian Salazar
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Everything C.A.N. B.E. Fixed

Discover the C.A.N. B.E. Fixed Method

Do you find yourself arguing and fighting over the same issues?

With no real solutions in sight.

You just can’t understand why she doesn’t agree with you … that she doesn’t see that she is wrong.

You’ve given her every reason why she needs to see the error in her thinking … and yet your wife won’t budge … in fact, she blames you!

It seems like no matter what you do, these conversations end up the same way … making you both miserable.

You want to scream; maybe you do.  You want to withdraw; maybe you do.  Either way, you want her to hear you, but, mostly, you want the conflict to end by any means necessary. 

What you may have learned in counseling is not working.  You don’t have the patience for it.

You may have even realized that you’re part of the problem, and you do, in fact, have a part in the failing marriage and communication.

But you’re so damn tired of being emasculated …. or you’re unwilling to be emasculated to “fix things.”  

You’re an excellent father and you work hard.

But now a separation, divorce, or a continued miserable marriage looms.

You ask yourself, “what the f&^% do I do?!”

I’ve been there.  And it really sucks.  Like, bad. 

My wife and I would have arguments about the same things over and over again, and they would go on for days, months, or even years without resolution.  Or until separation and divorce seemed like the only answers. 

Almost every conversation ended up in an argument. 

She would blame me, and I would defend.  How can you have a conversation when it feels like you’re being blamed all of the time?! 

She would defend, and I would blame.  How could she not see that I was right?!

The fact remained that both of us thought that we were right, and the other was wrong … the other person was always wrong, in both their opinion and their behavior. 

Until I discovered the C.A.N.  B.E. Fixed Method.

Once I started to use this method, my marriage changed.  Arguments ended.  In fact, I was able to speak less, get my way more often, and she was happier.

Imagine that! 

Interested in learning more about the C.A.N. B.E. Fixed Method & how it can fix your marriage?

Email Me Today!

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

Why Do I Have To Be The One To Change?!?

Brooke
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Why Do I Have To Be The One To Change?!?

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My wife was a b*tch.  Yep, I said it.  And there was a time when I truly believed it.  She’s a very strong, independent, and moody woman.  And being married to that can suck … to say the least.  

She was constantly pushing, nagging, and arguing.  She was constantly telling me how unhappy she was.  Nothing I could do made her happy.  And believe me, I tried.  I was so damn tired of her being unhappy, and yet I just KNEW that if she changed, she would be happier.  After all, I’m not responsible for her happiness (which countless counselors told me).  

I tried for YEARS to get her to change – to be softer, sweeter, amiable … but the more I tried to change her, the worse she became.  And the worse our marriage got.  

Then, I was talking to a mentor one day, and he asked me “why are you so obsessed with your wife changing?”. 

I had 3 really good reasons: 

  1. I wanted my wife to join me on my journey. I wanted it to be a partnership. I wanted the two of us to be on the same page when it came to our relationship.
  2. I wanted it to be fair. I wanted equal effort by both parties in our marriage. I mean, she’s made her fair share of mistakes, so I shouldn’t be the only one trying here.
  3. I believed that it took both of us to heal our marriage.

His response sent me into a tailspin: “Brian, YOU GET to be the one to change; not her.” 

What the f!?!?!?  What do you mean “get?!” At first, I was so p*ssed. This is a marriage with two people in it; not just one.  It takes two to tango.  And on and on…

Correct.  All of that’s true.  

But then he asked “do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” 

And the more I thought about it, I realized he was 100% right.  

My beliefs, although all totally valid, weren’t serving my mission to improve or heal my marriage and life. 

Nor will it serve you.  

Nor will it serve you.

If you’ve been wishing for a miracle that your wife will change, you aren’t serving yourself or your mission. 

You’re actually being counterproductive.  

And here’s why:

  • YOU are the one that wants more in your life and marriage.  The mere fact that you signed up to be on my email list tells me that there’s something you want.  If you want something, YOU have to put in the work; she can’t do it for you.  
  • If you’re reading this, between the two of you, YOU’re the most capable.  YOU have a larger capacity for growth than she does.  YOU have the ability to lead more than she does.  YOU can handle the hard work; she can’t.  
  • You can only control YOU.  To put energy into what she should, or shouldn’t, be doing will drain you.  Trust me.  Focus on you. 
  • She’ll only go as far as YOU’re willing to go.  As you lead, she will follow.  Seriously.  As you put in the work and show up differently, she’ll have to keep pace with you … she’ll want to keep pace with you.  If she chooses not to, you will lovingly leave her behind and move forward with your life.
  • YOU don’t have to change; you GET to change.  Yes, this is an opportunity that life has presented to you.  Embrace it.  Love it.  You get the honor of doing the work and evolving as a man.  You get to share your best self with the world.  After all, that’s what the world is asking of you. 

The truth is, if growth is all you get from this (and she never changes or your marriage never gets better), then you’re way ahead of the game.  This is YOUR life to live. YOU matter. And YOUR future matters.

So, stop chasing the illusion that you can change her.  It’s not your choice.  Changing YOU is your choice, and it’s 100% in your control.  

And I’ll let you in on a little secret … when YOU change, your marriage WILL change.  It can’t stay the same when one person changes their part.  It’s not possible.  

Interesting, right?  Straight truth here … you CAN change yourself AND your marriage … just by focusing on YOU.  

Focus on what you can control … and that is you.

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

What the h=ll does she want from you?

Brooke
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What the h=ll does she want from you?

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A Little Marriage Advice

Can I share a little about my marriage?  This is a little embarrassing … There was a time when I was REALLY STRUGGLING in my marriage (that’s not the embarrassing part).  Despite being in a pit of despair, I honestly thought I was doing everything right.  No joke (that’s the embarrassing part).  

I mean, there was a time when I was clueless.  I felt like I was doing the right things but my marriage was getting worse everyday.

  • I cut out of work early to be home to help.
  • I was a hands-on father.
  • I was “easy-going”.
  • I was a nice & good guy.
  •   I told my wife that I loved her daily.
  • Everyone else liked me.

Even my wife would say I was a “good husband.”

Yet my marriage SUCKED.  And here’s why…

I was “active” in my marriage, but I was focused on all the wrong things.  I was focused on what I knew; what I felt competent doing. I played it safe.  

But I wasn’t paying attention to her needs, as a woman … as my wife. 

I was spinning trying to find a way to fix the situation and please my wife and it was draining to say the least. 

After working with my coach and digging deeper, I figured out what she needed, and I was able to focus my attention there … where it counted.

And things started to get much better. 

So, let me give some marriage advice share what she needs from you. 

She needs:

1.       Security: 

To meet her need for security, we’re not talking about financial provision (although that’s very important).  Meeting her need for security means ensuring that she feels valued, cared for, and appreciated .  That you stand by her side and prioritize her in the good times and the bad.  That you will protect her and have her back.  That you will never act, speak, or threaten to leave her, because to do so, will sever any security that she felt and may close her off for good.

When she feels safe, she can open to you.  Emotionally and physically.

2.   Open, honest, two-way communication: 

She wants to be able to talk freely, openly, and feel safe opening up to you.  She doesn’t want you to “fix” anything.  She simply wants you to actively listen.

She wants YOU to open YOUR heart to her and speak your deepest truth.  Sharing isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength and it strengthens the bond between the two of you.  She doesn’t want headlines or to talk about the weather and sports with you.  She wants to talk LIFE with you.  She wants to feel your depth.

Speak to her openly and patiently, and fully listen to her in the same way.  Give her your FULL presence.  Put away your phone.  Turn off the TV.

3.       Soft, non-sexual touch and affection:  

She wants to be held and touched non-sexually.  Meaning, she wants affection that shows that you love her; not that you want to get her into bed.  For example, my wife loves when I run my fingers through her hair when we’re just hanging out on the couch.

When you only touch her sexually, and with the expectation of sex, she feels used, devalued, and like an object.  

Affection will draw you closer together, and YES, increase the likelihood of sex. 

Now, I said there were 4 things that your wife needs from you … but #4 is so big that it needs its own email.  So, stay tuned … tomorrow I’ll share #4.  

Let’s just say that when you achieve this 4th need, you will be in control of your life and marriage moving forward.

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

Your “True Self”

Brian Salazar
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Your “True Self”

I have many people ask me what it is to be one’s “true self”. Or, what does it mean to live in your “truth?” These terms are not commonly used in everyday conversation and are most definitely not used in our education system. I was once naïve to what this meant. To me, it sounded very foreign and mystical.

In fact, it was not until my mid 30’s that I first heard the terms “truth” and “true self.” As I began to seek more growth, I began to understand more, but the terms were never explained to me and I was most definitely not given a definition of what it meant. Nor did I need one.

What I learned is that finding one’s “true self” is not taught by way of a being given a definition and trying to solve for it, but rather it is discovered in one’s awakening during their journey toward true personal freedom.

Your truE SELF will EMERGE when you start to allow for it. It is unique to you.

So my answer is, you will know when you know.

But in an attempt to not just ignore the question and to further explain, I am reminded of the book The Power of Decision by Raymond Barker. I have not yet found a better description of what it most closely looks like to be your “true self” or the “real You.”

“In this newfound freedom of being the you that is the real you is the only security there really is. It is like coming out of a crowded room into the open and taking a deep breath of fresh air. Now you know that never again will you be victimized by your own wrong decisions and the negative thinking that accompanied them. Your mind is open to all right ideas. You no longer have any receptivity to ideas that you do not want to experience. The responsibilities of everyday living are no longer burdensome nor dull. Each hour is filled with accomplishment and accompanied with pleasure.

Your decision to be yourself pays off and rich dividends. The word impossible is deleted from your vocabulary. It is no longer has meaning. In its place now is the word unexpected. You are ready for that which is yet to be, knowing that all ideas concerning it are already in your mind and will appear on time and in order. You expect the unexpected and you welcome it as it appears into your consciousness and in your world. You expect health for you have no fear of illness. You know that there is nothing in your consciousness to cause illness. All mental and emotional conflicts have left forevermore.

You expect your prosperity to be completely normal and continuous. You have decided that this shall be so. There is no longer anything in your consciousness to cause restriction. The flowing in of money is always balanced with a flowing out of money. You have a right to live graciously and you do so. All of your bills are paid the day you receive them. You discover that paying bills is a pleasant experience. Your inner wisdom born of the Spirit guides you in all of your financial matters.

You expect to be happy. For you now realize that happiness is your normal created state of living. You are neither ashamed of being happy, nor afraid of being happy. You rejoice in being alive. Doing what you are doing and feeling as you are feeling. There is nothing in your subconscious mind to make you other than happy. You have decided that this is so and the everyday events of your life indicate that it is so. You are even glad to have problems for each one of them is soluble through your own right thinking, right deciding, and the correct use of your imagination. You are happy.

You decide to give and receive love. You know that you can do this and make intelligent plans to do it. You are no longer fighting with the human race. You have taken your place in it as a loving, kind, and generous person. You attract yourself people in situations which are the right ones for you. Your well-balanced emotions plus your new created drives and interests, draw to you like-minded individuals with whom you have ease of communication. There is an interchange of ideas, attitudes, and interests. Love in you finds love in them. Love in them finds love in you.

The Infinite is loving by means of you and you give it full freedom of action. No more loneliness, no more apartness. You like the feeling of being one with many people. You enrich and are enriched by your associations. You catch a glimpse of the Spirit in all whom you contact.

You have severed all connections with frustration. The dynamics of the creative ideas in your mind are now having full self-expression. This penetrates every area of your living. You are a dynamic person. People think of you as a dynamic person. You do what you want to do. You rejoice in the free flow of creative thinking which keeps your mind centered on your decided goals. You watch new ideas happen in your mind and new events take place in your experience. You’re outgoing, fulfilled, and free to express yourself.

You have faith in life. You sense yourself to be an instrument of the Mighty Mind. You are convinced of the many values of living in the here and the now. Your good is not postponed or delayed. Your mind senses the spiritual activities within it and cooperates fully with them. You trust the great creative lab of the subconscious mind. Your authorizations in it are left free to produce themselves. You are free of all deep concern and serious worry. You know that the only good is on your pathway and that its revelations to you will always be the right ones at the right time appearing in order. You are affirmative in your attitudes. You like yourself as you are, creative and victorious.

You have a larger understanding of God. Not my God, nor god of creeds, but the God your own thinking has discovered within you. It is God personal to you, for you personalize it. You trust the infinite mind as it functions in your mind. You know that its constant flow of new ideas is your guarantee of right living for you now are receptive to them. You find many people who think of God as you think of God. You are no longer rejecting anything spiritual. You are open and receptive to spiritual ideas. You know that your life is the life of God. You know that you are living representative of all that the Infinite is. You are worthy of your high calling as a spiritual creation.”

There is no reason for not feeling comfortable in this great cosmos. People with self-conditioned linked minds may fear the unknown, but there is no reason for you to do this. You know that anything and everything that you need to know you will know when you need to know it. You do not need to know the future for fear of the future, for you are creating your future with your present attitude. A trust in the general business of life is essential to well-being. It comes from seeing yourself correctly. You are not a biological accident. You are a programmed individual, individualizing the magnificence of life. Any feeling of your inferiority or insignificance is ridiculous. 

How amazing does life sound living in this state of being?! Should you decide to, this can be your experience. After all, it is YOU. It is your true self.

This is by no means a to do list. If it’s time, you will know what to act on. It is your truth.  If you feel lost, seek your truth. Go with your gut. Wade through your fears and lean into them. Take the high road. Not because you are afraid,  but rather because it is the loving thing to do. Be honest 100% of the time. Put down the pose. Open up. Get some help. Finding the real you is the most liberating thing that you will do in your time on earth.  The real you is all that you are looking for, find him and the rest will fall in to place.

To go through life never knowing who you were created to be is like being the eagle that decided never to fly.

So, stop running from you.

Strength,

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

5 KEYS TO CREATING LASTING CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE

Brian Salazar
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5 KEYS TO CREATING LASTING CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE & MAKE IT STICK

Many of us say that we want to make a change in an area of our life, yet so many of us struggle to see it through. And see that it sticks.

Honestly, most of it is all talk.

We tell ourselves that we will change. We tell others that we will change. We tell people that we are making a change. But the truth is, there is no real substance behind those claims. We are either lying to ourselves and others or simply do not know what to do.

I see this pattern all the time in my many interactions with men “looking to make a change.” The good news is … I have also seen people step up and make real, lasting change. It takes a lot to get there but is beyond possible for anyone and everyone. Here is how you can do it.

1. MAKE THE DECISION

You must make a decision, to initiate change. You must decide to act.

Most people make the decision to live in indecision and wonder why they do not get anywhere. You cripple yourself, your life, and those that surround you when you live in indecision.

Be a yes … or be a no. Especially for the bigger parts of your life.

You must learn to act. Or, not. Do not play in the middle.

To change your life you must make the decision that you will start making decisions. And choose YES, to growth.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”

Tony Robbins

2. 100% COMMITMENT

Yes, 100%.

You cannot be halfway in and halfway out. Or just most of the way in. You must be fully committed and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your desired outcome and change your life.

This means you will more than likely need to step out of your comfort zone. Because what we know: what you have done thus far, has gotten you exactly where you are … but no further.

This may mean paying a coach, counselor, or some other support system a sum of money that you had never imagined investing in this area of life.

It may mean saying NO to all the things that you used to say yes to.

It may mean leaving old friends behind.

It may mean letting go of some of your family members.

It may mean traveling across the world to get away from what is holding you back.

Bottom line, breaking patterns and making change takes BALLS, and you must be ALL IN.

3. CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS

First, believe that you can make the change. This is crucial!

Your beliefs direct your outcomes. It is your prior beliefs that got you to where you are today … period. If you don’t believe that you can do something, you won’t do it.

Eliminate and change your prior beliefs. Limiting beliefs like:

  • Life is hard
  • Relationships are hard
  • My wife is harsh
  • If only I would have grown up with more money
  • She doesn’t want to have sex with me
  • I am not good looking enough
  • I am in a “dead-end job”
  • I am too shy
  • Work is not supposed to be fun
  • I am broken
  • Money doesn’t grow on trees
  • If I had _______, then I would be happy
  • I could never be as good as ________
  • She is too difficult
  • My dad has always done it this way, so that is the only way that I can do it
  • I am not enough

When you believe something, your brain will look for ways to prove it to be true.

If you believe that you will only make $50,000 per year, you will make roughly $50,000. If you shift your belief to be that you will make $150,000 per year, you will make $150,000.

It is like magic!

I am not suggesting affirmations or positive thinking. I am saying a wholehearted belief.

As your subconscious begins to believe that a new outcome is possible, that new outcome will slowly start to manifest itself. This may sound a little bit like “fairyland” to many, but try it. Let me know your results.

Change your thoughts. Change your beliefs. Change your outcomes. Change your life!

4. INCREASE YOUR AWARENESS

Your awareness, often referred to as your consciousness, is the part of you that experiences life. The part of you that observes life.

Your awareness is the way that you will know what it is that you currently believe. Your awareness enables you to monitor your thoughts that will later turn into beliefs.

Be aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it. 

Notice your thoughts. What are you allowing to consume your mind?

The simple awareness of your thoughts creates extraordinary change…and fast.

5. REFINE:

This is the fun part. The part where you get to go from student to the teacher.

This is where you can learn new tactics and procedures, and easily implement them.

The heavy lifting has been completed. You have decided, you are committed, you believe that you can do it, and you live with peak awareness.

Now, all of those courses that you wanted to take – you should take them. And the books full of appealing tactics that you wanted to read- it is now time to read them.  This information will now settle into your subconscious, freely live there, and will be ready for use when your newly wired mind decides it is time to use them.

BONUS: Your health. Taking care of your mind and body are going to be key to your success. Your body truly is your temple. Eat well and exercise.

Strength,

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

Why Won’t Men Ask for Help?

Brian Salazar
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Why Won’t Men Ask for Help?

It seems like we live in a culture that far more women than men are willing to ask for help. Why is it that men don’t ask for directions? Why is it that instead of pulling over and getting on the right path, men will drive around aimlessly trying to figure it out – wasting time, energy, and perhaps producing nothing? If someone has the directions that will help get from where you are today to where you want to be, why don’t we ask them for the directions?

Enter PRIDE and FEAR…

We men are a proud bunch. Always comparing status. Always pretending to have it figured out on the outside, but we wander aimlessly on the inside. We don’t want to look weak, even if we feel weak. We are dishonest with ourselves. We don’t ask each other questions about anything beyond the weather, sports ,and pretty women. We show victory by sharing the materialistic things in life (or feel defeated if we don’t have them), but NEVER share the truth about what we are going through … for fear that we will look weak. In doing so, we lie to our ultimate self, our TRUE Self … that man that lives inside of you.

Just me and my buddy, Ozzie.

That was me. I was the most closed off person I knew. I never let anyone in. I could keep them at just enough of a distance with 1-3 word answers, changing the subject or talking about “nothing.” I was afraid of being exposed. And to be honest, I thought I had my shit together. But life has a funny way of exposing us … and it did me. We are exposed by our marriages, our bosses, our mistresses, our habits, our work, our finances, tragedy … the list goes on. Sadly, most men are exposed and scramble to cover it all up again, and in doing so, forgo an opportunity to fully arrive at becoming the man that they were created to be. And, in turn, his life runs in circles.

Let’s be honest, men see investing in working on themselves as a complete waste of money and energy. If you can’t guarantee me that you are going to increase my paycheck 2x, I’m out. HINT: if you want to make more money, upgrade your personal software. Your number one asset to your pocketbook … is you! Imagine if you showed up fearless, confident, and powerful … what you could do??????

Real Men Ask For Help.

Men, it is time to take a hard look in the mirror. That thing you have been thinking about changing … it’s time to change it. That thing your wife would love for you to do … it’s time that you start doing it. Most likely you are not doing it because you don’t know how, and you’re too afraid to ask for help. ASK! There is somebody that’s done it before … simply ask them how they did it … then do it! Hire a counselor … hire a coach … tell a friend, for crying out loud!

The truth is, people love the real you. If they don’t, they have no business in your life … but they do. The moment that you begin to open up and ask for help, is the moment those around you become inspired. It Is the moment that you take your friendships to the next level. Your marriage. Your work. YOUR LIFE. Someone knows how to get to where you want to go, all you have to do is ask them for directions.

Be a REAL MAN and ASK!

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10 Tips to Transform Your Relationship.

Brian Salazar
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10 Tips to Transform Your Relationship.

Relationship Tips for Men

These are in no particular order. Every man’s journey is different. All that matters is that when you act, and that it’s authentic … not just another chore. Read below to discover the top 10 relationship tips for men that will transform your marriage.

The Top 10 Relationship Tips for Men

  • Take 100% responsibility for where your life and relationship. Your prior thoughts, beliefs and actions have gotten you right where you are at today. Own it. Appreciate it. Love it.
  • Be present. As men, we are often easily distracted, but women crave a man’s presence. Be genuinely interested in her. Put your phone away. Turn the TV off. Look her in the eye. Repeat back what you hear her say, so that she knows that you are truly listening. Hold her. Touch her. Ask her questions about HER. Your presence is powerful.
  • LEAD her. This does not mean to tell her what to do or force her to make choices that she does not want to make. It means to show up daily in your power. BE the man you were created to be. Rather than telling her what you think she should do, guide her by asking questions, so that she can find her own answers. Stop preaching to her. If you want change, you go first. BE so that others BEcome.
  • Learn Learn Learn Learn. never stop growing. She will be WOWd by your ability to show her that you are continually willing to improve your craft as a man. Read books, listen to podcasts hire somebody to help you. And let her know what you are up to
  • Christ-like Love. need I say more?
  • Appreciate her, ALL of her. Focus on what you love about her, not what bothers you. Tell her what you appreciate. Write it down. Post it on Facebook. Do something that shows her how much you appreciate her.
  • Stop waiting or wishing for her to change. Try spending the time that you allocate trying to change her, to seeking to learn more about her. She will change when she is ready. She will change when you can handle it. Most likely, if you want her to change, it is you needing to make the change. Again, you are a man … you go first!
  • Be a man on a mission. Give her a reason to follow you. If she knows what you stand for and where you are taking your family, she will follow you all the way. You must first truly believe in yourself and your mission, and she will follow.
  • Stop trying to FIX it. I get it. You are a man. Your brain was created to fix things…hers was not. Listen to her and seek understanding. Stop trying to FIX IT.
  • Allow her to have her OWN experience. Yes, what she says she is going through, or how she sees it, is just as true as how you see it. You each have your own experience in life … allow for that. You are two completely different humans by design. Honor that.

BONUS TIP

Give God a try. As the ultimate creator of life, He may know a thing or two about achieving peace, love, and greatness. He is not your genie. Simply ask for strength and support. Try connecting with Him. Once you do, STAY connected through constant gratitude.

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