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There Are No Shortcuts In Life

Brian Salazar
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There Are No Shortcuts In Life

Let’s be honest, we’re all looking for shortcuts in life… 

From diet pills, testosterone boosters, the lottery, get-rich-quick schemes, and other gimmicks … we all want the “magic pill.”

But here’s the deal… there are no magic pills when it comes to changing your life.

Sure, if you’re looking for a bandaid for your situation, I can come up with a number of ways to help you “get by” for a bit. In fact, I’m sure you find yourself putting bandaids on many situations. 

… Your wife is too hard to talk to, so you stay at work longer.
… Your wife hurts your feelings,  so you withdraw and withhold.
… You want to feel confident, so you look at porn.
… You want to eliminate your stress, so you have some beers.

These things all work, but only for a moment, and in the end, they crush you. 

Don’t they???????

What You Can Do

If you want true transformation, if you want real results, you have to set out on a journey. You have to set out on a mission. You have to complete the mission. 

And you have to learn to enjoy the path laid out before you.

You have to embrace the suck. Embrace the failure. Embrace it ALL. 

You have to go in headfirst. 

How I Can Help

I tell men all of the time, “if you’re looking for a magic pill, I’m not your guy.” 

I say that because I’m about results; not bullshit. I’m about full, whole-hearted transformation; not transactional, temporary fixes that “feel good”. 

If I’m being honest, I’ve had many “failures” in my life, and they were typically a result of some bullshit shortcut that I tried to take. It doesn’t work!

Likewise, I’ve had many victories in life, and the best ones have always been the ones that took time, that took a grind, and that took failure. They’re the victories that I share, the ones that people want to hear about. The ones that transformed my life. 

The good news is that I no longer fail. Not because I don’t come up short sometimes, but because I look at the world’s view of failure as an opportunity. As part of the journey. As a gift. And it’s fucking empowering! 

There’s a path. There’s a process. And you must embrace it. You must fully engage in it. 

The process is commitment, hard work, accountability, growth, intention, focus, belief…and failure.

All of which require you to put in the work.

If you’re serious about fixing your marriage. Fixing what’s broken in your life, STOP looking for shortcuts in life. 

Stop avoiding the game of life, and instead start getting really good at it. 

It’s fun. And it’s worth it.

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

 

WAKE UP!

Brian Salazar
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WAKE UP!

Take Control of Your Life.

I’m going to give you a glimpse of how I used to live my life…It’s not good.  

The truth is that I used to sleepwalk through life.

I meandered through each day, pointing my efforts toward whatever seemed easiest. I operated in default mode and inherited the results of living that way. 

AND, it caused my life to erupt!

It wasn’t until my life exploded that I realized this. It shook me, and I finally woke up. 

Let me ask you a few questions…

  • How many of your habits did you consciously create?
  • How many of your thoughts are chosen?
  • How many of your feelings are you aware of?
  • How many of your daily actions are driven with intentional choice?
  • How many of your results in life have been determined by your intentional actions?
  • How responsible are you for the results in your life?

Let me go ahead and take a stab at it for you… 

80% + of your habits are unconscious. Yes. You drink, you eat, you run, you hide, you withdraw, you lie, you twitch, you stare, you surf the internet, you speak, you get lost in the “busyness” of your work, you play on your phone, you watch tv, you give the same “canned” responses, and on and on and on, all out of subconscious habits that you’ve created. You don’t even know you’re doing these things! Yet you do them EVERYDAY. 

Almost all of your thoughts that run through your head are not chosen thoughts. My bet is that the thought that you’re having at this exact moment just popped up out of nowhere. And more than likely, you’ve never even noticed the voice inside of your head that never seems to shut up. 

My bet is that you’ve been taught to run, hide, and stuff your feelings and have never sat down and paid attention to what you’re feeling. All you know is that sometimes you feel HIGH and sometimes you feel LOW. And if you’re honest, most of the time you are running at LOW. 

The majority of your actions seem to “just happen.” You wake up, you go to work, you do the work that falls in front of you, maybe go to the gym, you go home, eat, check-out, go to sleep…repeat. 

And, because of your unintentional actions, you’re reaping unintentional results.

But I want to break something to you …  

You’re responsible for 100% of the results in your life. For better or for worse. 

Most of us men have been operating in default mode, unaware of our place in life, and our part in creating it. 

You got here without even consciously choosing to be here. You’ve been asleep. And you wonder how you got to this point in your life, and why you are miserable! 

I get it. As i said, I’ve been there. In fact, I spent most of my life asleep. 

And I now work my ass off everyday, trying to live a life awake. A life that is intentional. That is meaningful. And it takes work!

People ask me, “Brian, how do I find my purpose? How do I live with more energy? How do I show up as a stronger man? How do I fix my marriage? How do I grow my business? How do I deal with my parents? How do I manage marriage, business, kids, and hobbies?”

The answer is, you start to live your life ON PURPOSE. You start to live a life with INTENTION. You stop being a victim. You stop letting life run you, and you take control of your life.

And the rest will fall into place.  

But you have to wake up! Stop stumbling through your days and start choosing your days.

You ask, “but how, Brian?”.  Well, here are a few good starting points.  

>> Start by paying attention to your thinking. It’s your thinking that’s driving your life’s results. Notice that voice in your head. What’s it saying? Are your thoughts productive or unproductive?

>> Create a routine and stick to it!  Wake up at the same time everyday, not when you all of a sudden feel like getting up. 

>> Choose your actions each day. Choose what you want to accomplish. Choose how you want to feel. And then create actions that align. If you want to have a drink, CHOOSE to have a drink; dont just fall into it out of habit. If you want a better marriage, create a plan and execute it to get a better marriage. Put in the work. If you want more money, stop talking about it and make a plan to make it happen. 

Lastly, I’m going to leave you with one final tip and action-step:

STOP what you are doing. Stop right now. Get out a pen and a piece of paper. 

EXPLORE what’s currently going on in your life by writing down what’s real for you right now. 

  • What’s your reality? Write it out. 
  • What have you done to get here? Write it out. 
  • What’s been working? What’s not working? Write it out.
  • What do you want?  Write it out. All of it.  An entire plan to make this happen.  

EXECUTE.  Just do it.  No excuses.  

Make this a daily habit in your life. 

STOP. EXPLORE. EXECUTE. 

STOP. EXPLORE. EXECUTE.

By doing those three simple steps, you’re expanding, living with intention, and moving forward with purpose. You are AWAKE.

Wake up. Take control of your life. It’s too painful to go through life asleep. Your awareness is POWER.

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

TENDING TO THE COALS OF YOUR LIFE

Brian Salazar
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TENDING TO THE COALS OF YOUR LIFE

Do you feel like you’re constantly firefighting in your life?  Like it is constantly spinning out of control, and you’re not sure what to do next? 

I know I did. And I know most of the men that I talk to are doing just that; they’re constantly putting out fires… 

Doing everything they can to heal their marriage make their wife happy. But it’s not working.

Putting needed conversations off, so they can simmer and eventually EXPLODE.

Feeling afraid to speak up and say what’s on their mind for fear of how she may react. So, the embers start to burn hotter and hotter on the inside… until the fire erupts. 

Hiding from the reality of their life and marriage, pretending that it is all OK, but finding their wife ready to leave or completely checked out. 

Trying to find meaning in their life, so they spin, spin, and spin some more.

Looking for purpose but always feeling lost.

Feeling weak, clueless, without direction after their wife has left them.

And when men get to these dark and brutal places, they scramble to keep things afloat, but continue to sink. 

The craziest part is that they act surprised … like it all came out of nowhere; all the while the coals had been simmering for years. And now they’re forced to face and fight the fire that is their life. 

But this is no way to live. This is when life sucks! This is when we hit our rock bottoms.

The truth is that a happy life is not a life of firefighting; it is a life of constantly tending to the coals. 

Yes, the coals….

Doing the things that you know you should be doing but have elected to put off or not do.

Having the conversations you know you need to have, yet you are too afraid to have. 

Speaking your truth, implementing boundaries, and enforcing boundaries.

Tending to the part of you that feels lost and broken inside, instead of acting like it’s all ok. 

Yes, that requires the first step in any sort of transformation…BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF!

The more you ignore the coals in your life, the bigger the fire is going to get. And one day it WILL inevitably EXPLODE. It always does.

And maybe that’s why you’re reading this right now. You’re firefighting. You’re in survival mode. I know that’s when I finally sought help. 

If that’s you, it’s time to stop fighting fires and to start tending to the coals and dealing with what’s real in your life.

Your purpose. Your marriage. Your self-worth. Your procrastination. Your health. Your mindset. Your temper. Your passivity. Your connection to God.

You know exactly what you’re neglecting in your life. Heal your marriage. Get to work before it is too late.

STOP FIGHTING FIRES, AND START TENDING TO THE COALS

Like what you see here? Let’s connect on social media!

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS YEAR

Brian Salazar
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DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS YEAR

Are you like most men right now, wondering what’s going to be different about this year?

Like, how are you going to improve? How are you going to grow? How are you going to find purpose? How are you going to get fit? How are you going to survive another dreadful year of marriage? Or, more than likely, how are you going to get out of the sh*t storm of 2020?

I know that you’ve heard the quote:

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  

Sit with this a minute…

Now be honest with yourself, how true does this ring in your life right now?

To some extent, this is true for all of us, yet we don’t take the hint… DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

As a man, when you become stagnant in life, you feel like you’re dying inside. And you’re dying inside, because you’re not evolving as a human. 

Your growth is your purpose!  That’s why you feel like you’re dying when you’re not growing.  You’re living as the past version of yourself, yet here you are today, and tomorrow, and the next with the opportunity to show up as a bigger and better man with each passing day. 

So, choose to evolve. If what you want in your life and marriage did not happen in 2020, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT! 

Doing the same sh*t is driving you insane and killing your life. You’re doing nothing more than putting a choke-hold on what’s next for you as a man. 

Do the things that you KNOW you should be doing. Stop doing the things that you KNOW you should not be doing. Do the thing that you have always wanted to do, yet you’ve never done it. It can be that simple.

Whatever you do, make 2021 a year of growth. Be bold. Go big. Stop being a victim, man-up, and create the life you want this year. 

Start by doing something different.

How to Have Tough Conversations

Brooke
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How to Have Tough Conversations

I can remember, like it was yesterday, not wanting to have a difficult conversation with my wife …

Wait. That’s because it was yesterday.  I’m not kidding.

Yes, I coach men on how to be in a relationship, how to effectively communicate, and how to have difficult conversations … but that doesn’t make me exempt from still having my own struggles when it comes to having difficult conversations. 

I am human. I still have fears.  I have my OWN desires.  I carry my own baggage in the relationship. 

But, I am 30X more advanced and confident than I was a few years ago, and I actively work on it daily.

And I will tell you this: the fear of conflict, not speaking my truth, and having difficult conversations no longer runs my life.  And here’s why …

Anyone can BE in a relationship, but I want to be IN relationship.  Can you feel the difference? 

Being IN relationship requires you to be vulnerable, to speak your truth, and to talk about difficult things. You share when IN relationship.  

And it’s the most fulfilling thing that you’ll do in your marriage. 

It draws the two of you closer.  It builds connection, not division. 

You’ll no longer be afraid of telling your wife what you really think.

Imagine that!  Imagine not avoiding difficult conversations.  Imagine saying how you feel ALL the time.  Imagine the weight that would be lifted off your shoulders.  The stress that would be relieved.  And the freedom that you would feel!

It is possible, I promise. 

But you must understand this first…

You see, we don’t LIKE to have difficult conversations because of fear.  Yes, fear.  That ugly feeling that ruins our lives.

We’re afraid of their reaction … don’t want to rock the boat … or poke the bear.  We’re afraid that they won’t approve of us … that they won’t agree with us … that they’ll storm off, blame us, yell at us. Or worse … that they’ll leave us. 

And all of those reactions SUCK! 

But they don’t suck bad enough to stay quiet and disengage. 

A relationship run by fear, where you don’t share your truth, is not a relationship.  It’s a parent-child relationship you used to have when you were a kid with your mom and dad. 

You’re a married adult now.

To not be yourself and speak your truth in a relationship is bullshit!  You should be FREE in your relationship; you shouldn’t feel caged. 

You MUST speak your truth.  You MUST stop being avoidant. 

This is where freedom and connection both exist in your marriage.

You might not see it by her oftentimes harsh reactions, but it’s actually what she wants from you. She wants to know that you stand for something.  That you have your own convictions.  She wants to know who you really are.

But you have to retrain the relationship out of the old pattern.

Here’s what you can do:

  1. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  Understand your own discomfort.  Why are you afraid to bring this topic up?  Why’re you avoiding this conflict?  Why’re you withholding how you truly feel?  Are you afraid that she will yell, leave, blame?  And if she does? To understand your discomfort is POWERFUL.  This is a great starting point.  
  1. If you’re feeling ready, it’s time to lean in and go for it.  Be vulnerable and say how you feel.  When you feel that tension inside, that’s a signal to pay attention.  To step out and say something. 

EX: “Hey babe, there’s something that I’m a little afraid to share, but I feel like I need to … When you said that I never help with the kids, I felt blamed, so I got pissed off.  I was insecure about being a shitty husband and man.  Can we agree to not blame each other, and instead you can just ask me for help?  I’ll work on being more active with the kids.”

This is very textbook, and your delivery doesn’t have to be.  The point is, just say something!  The more you withhold the fact that you feel blamed and shitty, the more distant the two of you will become and shittier you will feel. 

Saying something rather than nothing at least gives you a starting point; a place to work from.

Start there, and then you can improve your tactics to be more effective as you go.  “Hey babe, please don’t blame me.  I’m not ok with that.” 

It’s ok to be scared.  It’s also ok for it to not go well.  This is all very new to the relationship. 

The more you speak up, the better it will get. 

Speak up in your marriage.  Say what’s true for you. 

The truth will set your marriage free!

What The F%$% is Intimacy?!

Brooke
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What The F%$% is Intimacy?!

Have you heard, or said, something along these lines?…

“My wife and I haven’t been intimate for a year.”  I hear something along those lines all of the time… 

What they’re really tyring to say is “My wife and I haven’t had sex in a year.”

And that’s a problem. It’s a problem that they haven’t had sex in a year.  

But there’s another problem here: 

They think that intimacy equals sex.

Sex is part of intimacy, but it’s NOT intimcay.  Intimacy is  bigger; intimacy is better; intimacy is powerful. More powerful than you think.

I get it. For most of my early adult life (well into my 30’s), I thought “intimacy” was the equivalent to having sex.  But let me tell you what intimacy really is, and is not, and why it’s the foundation of your relationship. 

First, intimacy is NOT romance, sex, chocolates, and flowers. These are all great things but they don’t define intimacy.

Intimacy is SHARING. It;s sharing truths, fears, feelings, stories, activities … and yes, sex. It’s NOT secrets, withholding, or hiding. 

Intimacy is about connection.

Intimacy is built over time. It’s not the magical feeling that you had when you first met your wife.  Intimacy is deep and builds over time. 

Intimacy is the bridge to all that you’re looking for in marriage. It builds your connection and bond. It builds trust. It builds desire and attraction. It’s the “good stuff” in marriage”.

Yet, so many are afraid to be intimate with their spouse. More than likely, you never saw your parents be truly intimate. I know I didn’t. I know my wife didn’t. I know the men I work with didn’t. You don’t see it on tv, and the media sure as hell doesn’t promote it. 

Instead, we’re taught the exact opposite.  To hide; to be shameful; to attack; to be “right.” 

We’re afraid to share and engage in true intimacy, because we don’t want to feel judged, rejected, and, to be honest, because we don’t know how!

Have you noticed how your wife gets upset with you for doing something, rather than tell you what she needs? Have you ever noticed that you share NOTHING about how you truly feel with your wife? Do you find yourself constantly withholding? How, together, you don’t talk about your hopes, dreams, pains, regrets, and feelings? How neither of you are honest. But if I was a betting man, I’d bet she’s more honest and upfront than you are. 

Have you noticed that your daily interactions are surface level, task oriented, bitching and moaning … or no nothing at all?

This is no way to be in a relationship! You deserve more. She deserves more. Your children deserve more. 

You have to learn how to share. You have to learn how to listen. You have to get over your fears and say the thing(s) that you know you should say, but don’t. 

If you want intimacy, you go first. 

Speak your truths in order to open her up. What do I mean by “truths”? I mean, be F&*^ing honest with her!  How you feel. What you need. What is bothering you. What you’re afraid of. What you believe in. What you hope for. What you dream of. What your vision is. 

She may shut down initially, but that’s no worse than what’s currently happening. And over time, she will open.

Real intimacy may sound scary, but it’s the lifeline of your marriage. And the more you practice it, the easier it gets. And the more intimate you are, the better your marriage is, and YES, the more sex you’ll have.

I see it in my own marriage.  When things feel “off,” that’s a signal that we’re not intimate. That one of us is shut down. It’s a signal to get to work. To share. To open her up. 

To get back in relationship with her! 

Masculine Leadership

Brooke
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Masculine Leadership

Did you read the post on “What the h=ll does she want from you?”  If not, check it out.  I told you 3 things that women need from you, but I said that was just a start … there’s more.  And this one is crucial.  

She NEEDS this from you, whether she even knows it or not.  

LEADERSHIP.  

Not boardroom-kind-of-leadership.  Not control.  Not demeaning minimization.  But true masculine leadership.  The respectable kind.  The honorable kind.  The sexy kind.  The badass kind.   

There’s a movement among women today that sounds like “I don’t need a man to lead me.”  And it’s true.  They don’t NEED a man to lead them.  They are incredibly capable and self-sufficient.   

The truth is that a woman WANTS to be led, whether she’s willing to admit it or not. She wants to rest in your masculine energy. She wants to know that you have direction. That you have purpose.   

There’s something comforting (and sexy) to a woman when she’s with a man that wants to be strong for her.  As you lead, you will see her start to relax into her flowing beautiful self and give up her ridged edges that plague your marriage. 

It’s a relief to have someone walk next to her, shoulder a little bit of life’s pain that she feels, and protect her from that which she fears.  And most women (whether they admit it or not) respect a man that’s willing to talk just slightly ahead of her – to protect her from the parts of life she doesn’t want to bear by herself.  

She wants to feel your strength and leadership as a man.  This will allow her to flow in her true feminine nature. 

Here’s what this looks like: 

  • You protect her from anything that could harm her (this includes your mother, if that relationship is strained).
  • You stand up to anyone that puts her down or treats her poorly (that includes your kids if they’re in that stage of complete rebellion).
  • You become the steady place for her to share and feel.  
  • You take action and act decisively. You don’t force her to make decisions.   
  • You initiate conversations about your marriage – to show her that she is a priority and the health of your marriage is important.  
  • You take the lead on finances and spirituality in the family. 
  • You schedule the date night – to show her that quality time with her is important.  
  • You share your opinions & stand up for your own beliefs, even when they’re different from hers.
  • You stand as the grounded and unshakable one in the relationship.
  • You radiate a confidence in knowing who you are.   

If she’s unwilling to follow you, it’s because she doesn’t trust you.  And if she doesn’t trust you, your chances of a fulfilling marriage are shot. 

But here’s the beauty about women: if she loves you, she WANTS to trust you.  She WANTS you to lead.  

And here’s the strength about men: even if we don’t know how today, we were BORN to lead.  We were CREATED as strong men that protect what we love – and there’s nothing that warrants your love more than your beautiful wife.  

You’ve got this.

Are You Sick & Tired of the Same Old Sh*t?

Brian Salazar
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Are You Sick & Tired of the Same Old Sh*t?

Another day, the same thing. Bicker, argue, fight, bicker, argue, fight, repeat.

Conflict killed my marriage and to no surprise. As I have alluded to before, conflict is the #1 cause for separation, divorce, and unhappiness in marriage.

Does this sound familiar:
“You always say that; I never do that.
“No, it’s nothing. I’m FINE.”
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?
“Why won’t you just talk to me. I can’t read your mind.”

Or what about the lack of response, the silence, and the ‘crickets’ you hear from someone for hours or days.
… Silence can be one of the worst types of conflict.

The truth is that marriages don’t end or go to rock bottom over disagreements about money, sex, kids, or conflict created over the feeling of the lack support or love.

They end because the husbands and wives don’t know how to communicate about money, sex, kids, or their unmet needs.

This creates ongoing resentment or conflict. The kind of resentment that sits below the surface and makes a consistent, painful appearance.

It seems like it comes out of nowhere, and it comes hard!

But the truth is, it has never gone anywhere; it’s just never been dealt with.

So, it sits there, and lingers like a dark cloud over your marriage.

I get it. You’re not alone. I’ve been avoiding conflict my whole life! This is entirely too common.

But, it held my marriage back and is holding yours back.

In fact, it’s likely tearing you apart!

You must realize that conflict doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, learning to deal with it is the most connecting thing that you can do.

The conflict that you’re experiencing in your marriage is exactly what you need! You just have to learn how to deal with it.

And to deal with it, you have to do something different than what you’re currently doing.

You have to learn to lean into it … in every aspect of your life … with confidence. Knowing that you have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

Sex, Sex, Sex

Brian Salazar
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Sex, Sex, Sex

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Sex … it’s on your mind.

You want more of it. You want to be better at it. You fantasize about it (often with other women).

And it’s one of the biggest “issues” and controversies in a marriage.

And I know … from personal experience! It can be the haunting ghost of your marriage.

If you find that you and your wife are struggling in the department of sex, you are not alone.

The two most common complaints that I hear are…

  • My wife does not want to have sex with me.
  • I’ve lost my interest in having sex with my wife; I feel like I’ve lost my drive.

Dealing with sex can be very complicated and require some serious healing that can take specific work on its own. But, I do find that most problems in the bedroom can be remedied.

If your wife doesn’t seem to want to have sex with you, that doesn’t mean that’s the way things have to be.

Refrain from making a blanket statement like “my wife hates sex” or “my wife won’t have sex with me.” That’s the way that it is right now, but you don’t know the reason, and that’s not the way that it has to be.

There are a few common reasons why she’s not willingly pursuing you for sex or allowing you to pursue her for sex. These could also be the reasons that you’re not actively pursuing her for sex.

  • She (or you) isn’t feeling loved – This is the foundation of your marriage. If this is broken, so is the rest. And for women, often sex and love are intimately connected. Why would she open herself up to you if she’s not feeling loved? And the same is for you, without feeling loved, you will withdraw. It is time to start building connection…
  • She isn’t feeling led – This is the foundation of you as a man and husband. She must be able to trust you. If she can’t trust you, why would she think it’s safe enough to engage in sex with you? Leading her can lead to many great things in the bedroom.
  • She (or you) doesn’t feel connected – Connection is the conduit to sex. If she feels constantly judged, belittled, your anger, your unhappiness, or simply like a “piece of ass,” she likely doesn’t feel connected. Connection comes first; then sex.
  • She believes that you don’t have the skills – she may be bored and disinterested from your lack of skills. Like anything in life that’s worth having, it takes work and skill to be successful. Make a commitment to working on your skills … to learn how to properly warm her up and turn her on.

A man that has “lost his drive” can seek professional testing, as this is sometimes the case. But typically, what drives these types of symptoms are stress, fear, expectations, feeling demeaned, and the lack of belief in who he is, as a man.

When you feel stress and don’t believe in yourself, and you look to any woman to validate you, you are far more susceptible to porn, affairs, and withdrawal. You start to connect with a fantasy, because you don’t believe in yourself, in reality.

When you feel demeaned and belittled at home, you’re less likely to want to have sex with your wife. Work on standing up for yourself, set boundaries, and put an end to this dynamic in your relationship.

Sex “issues” can destroy a marriage. If you feel like you’re struggling in this department, don’t sweep it under the rug just because you don’t know what to do, or because you’re not sure how she will react.

This fear will cripple your marriage.

While sex can be the source of major marital distress, it can also be the most connecting and beautiful part of your marriage.

Get help with this part of your relationship. You want it. Now, do something about it.

Action Step:
Ask her how she’s feeling about sex … without any expectation. Listen to her without the need to respond. HEAR her. Ask her what she needs. Ask her what she wants from you, both sexually and non-sexually. Does she want you to take a step back, or does she want you to step up?

Communication is key to any marriage, relationship or business. Without it, they all die.

I Was Suffocating In My Marriage.

Brian Salazar
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I Was Suffocating In My Marriage.

When I was going through my marital struggles, I felt like I was suffocating in my marriage.

The constant stress.  The fear.  The arguing.  The feeling of being “less than enough”. Purposeless.  And on and on.

I thought that if I could just get through today, tomorrow would be better.  And it never did. 

Deep down, I wanted the marriage to change, but I didn’t know how to change it.  I didn’t even believe it was possible to change it unless she finally figured her sh*% out.

So I just let it go on until it finally blew up.

And this is the story of many of the men that I work with. 

Deep down, they want the marriage to change but they’re stuck waiting on the sidelines for the “perfect time”… or for her to change … or for it to magically just get better and go away.

This is living in survival mode, and it sucks. 

And I get it.  I did it.

But here’s the thing … You could be living in “thrival mode” instead.

And with so much misinformation and missing pieces on how to get to “thriving” I get that it seems impossible and scary …

I also get that you may want to roll your eyes at the idea of going from “survival mode” to “thrival mode” so easily … like it’s just that simple. 

I’m here to tell you that it is that simple. I’ve done it.  And I see men do it all the time.

Like this badass dude named Simon that I just started working with.  He felt like a new man having only worked with me for 48 hours.  He was separated from his wife and had just lost his high paying job.  He felt lost and purposeless to say the least.

“Brian, I cannot believe how I’m feeling.  I feel like a new man after just knowing you for 48 hours.  I’m not sure what’s going on, but I love it.”

This feeling that Simon had in just 48 hours was the catalyst for him now being in a loving relationship, living with purpose, and starting a new career path.  He’s done all of this in 5 weeks.  No BS.

And he’s not unique.  This happens all of the time.

Do you want to know how? 

Here’s how….

Men that go from surviving to thriving commit to doing something bold and different than what they’ve done in the past.  They go from wanting to change their life to taking action toward actually changing their life.  They go big.  They stop playing small.

THEY ACT!

And they find someone who they trust and knows the path to where they want to go to help them make it happen. 

I hate to simplify, but it really is that simple. 

Commit to taking massive action toward figuring your life and marriage out … Do something big and different than you have in the past.  Something that feels uncomfortable.

Stop playing small.  Choose to believe you and your life are worth more and that you can do it. 

And find someone that will go on the journey with you, show you the way, and hold you accountable. 

This is your 5-minute fix.  You could literally start heading down this path in less than 5 minutes. 

Do it.  What’s the worst that could happen?  Absolutely nothing, yet you have EVERYTHING to gain. 

GO BIG.

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